"be yourself"
a concept i always found difficult to grasp, both as an artist and as a person.
what is "myself"? who is she? can the person i find in me really be what they are asking for? will it be all okay that way? i remember i was covered in worry, for years on end.
finally, some years ago, faith in Christ set me free. as He is a part of me, just as my art is, my thoughts and my feelings are becoming clearer, making way for what it is to be, just me. so this is it - the me that touches art, the side that creates with my hands for the eyes to see. it is as spiritual as it is physical, and it is being myself.
i was born in finland in 1997. as i grew up in the eastern part of the country & in the midst of a fast-paced nordic life, i found myself loving to observe everything from and beyond my culture, my eyes wide and my heart all open for both the east and the west.
i'd put my eyes on everything, literally. it didn't matter if it was proper or good for me, or too childish or "too good". i was drawn to it all. the full range of life interested me greatly and i gladly devoured it, unknown of the effects of it. i found horror and beauty, the supernatural and atomically hypernatural. some of it i am glad to have forgotten now, but a lot of it has given insight to things i don't think i could have found otherwise.
being myself, as i understood it before worrying over it, meant i also had a love of copying what i saw. it was always my highest form of adoration; becoming what i liked, being one with the things that drew me in. thus the suggestion that arose later, "you should just be yourself", felt foreign to me for such a long time. wasn't i already being so? was there something i didn't understand? should i stop my nature, to be even more of ... something less?
i'm not exactly settled on it yet, but i now reckon a combination of merging with your love and being completely separate of it is what it takes to be yourself. it is taking in the seesaw of life. may it be multicultural or from a single town, minimal or complex, as long as it is combining both the inner and outer worlds in some sort of mixed up harmony, it seems to be correct. it can be to fit in, but it cannot be to suppress what was already there. the evil in us can be cleansed, but the intricacies that make up a complete person are not meant to be erased.
so i think i have to thank the world: for telling me those words continually, on being yourself. without pushing myself to fit this demand, i would have not found out how it is to showcase myself in a full way. even if it is not all of it, it's still truer than ever before.
so... yes, do be yourself. continue to be and become him or her, with love and patience, with wind and power. and i hope you find the way to showcase it in a way that you were made to, even if it will feel at times incomplete and not as you thought it should be.
with love,
~ kia
~ kia
Kia Maria Turunen | Artist & Illustrator | based in Andalusia, Spain
Contact: kia.turunen@outlook.com